I didn’t realize until after the last newsletter that the practice of writing weekly is immensely satisfying and even fortifying for me. This is part of an overarching series I internally have called “Creating & Promoting Amidst Chaos” which was my return to writing these. It felt appropriate— it’s both bizarre and terrifying when I’m forced to continue to work and do business while I watch my identity and existence being systematically erased from the CDC and across official websites, including the Stonewall Monument.
If you think being trans or queer is a new invention, it's because these people were successful a century ago.
We’re all being inundated with bad news and it feels like a sword of Damocles that is a matter of when, not if, the thread will be cut. How can we be expected to not only survive, but continue to make consistent progress on our goals, care for ourselves, organize our communities, and be present with our friends and families? If you’re feeling despair or uninspired right now, you’re not alone. At least during the pandemic, there was a sense that we were all in unchartered waters and trying to navigate as we go. I’ve been thinking through what I, and those who have responded to my poll, want from this newsletter. While I am a marketer/storyteller, I’m also a human. There is no separating the personal from the professional. We cannot and should not put our identities on a shelf.
Over 90% of the emails I write get replies, and there’s a reason for that. This is what storytelling is about. Your ideal clients absolutely want to see these facets of your full self.
In the next newsletter, I want to talk about consistency. But we can’t be consistent unless we are finding ways to continue creating and promoting our work sustainably.
P.S. I'm still holding the Memorable Brand Stories workshop, but because it's my kiddo's spring break, I'm going to do it on Wednesday instead of on Tuesday. Join us at 1 PM.
NEWSLETTER EXCLUSIVE:
Resisting the Tide of Fascism Without Losing Your Sanity
Being intentional with screen time
My first foray into entrepreneurship was as a certified health coach in 2017. As a nurse, it felt like a natural transition. While I moved on from that business, it forced me to get honest about my own habits and how I protected myself against burnout. I realized within the last year, screen time was my main mechanism of escape. I didn’t see it until my kid was becoming attached to his devices and it forced me to come back to principles I think we all know but struggle to adopt when it comes to our relationship with social media and our phones.
We can’t get time back. And I was not using my time wisely at all and it was leaving me without any energy to not only care for myself but to create.
A lot of folks have already said a good amount about consuming news in an intentional way. There’s news that is meant to paralyze us— the opposite of helpful or actionable. I try to dip and out, and when I feel my body being activated it’s a sign I need to close out.
What I will share is what’s helped me create boundaries with my screens:
➤ I heavily curate my feeds on every profile and remove myself from people or groups that aren’t aligned with my values. So mostly when I scroll, it’s memes or folks/relationships who I want to keep up with in the world.
➤ I put an hour limit on FB and Instagram, and while I use them for my business it forces me into 15-minute increments
➤ Downtime is turned onto my phone at 9:30 (I want to start pushing it earlier). I take out my contact lenses at that time so I can’t look at a screen even if I wanted to. ➤ Much to my partner’s chagrin, I let my phone die. When I need to charge it, it goes in another room where I can’t see it. I’m not perfect but I’ve gone down from 12 or more hours a day (yes, it was really that bad) to around 7-8. Still not amazing but an improvement.
My friend and colleague Jen Roberts has some great resources for this if you’re interested.
Identify the gaps from the present and where you want to be
As you saw, I had to look at my current situation and be really honest with myself. I hadn’t written a newsletter in 4-5 months, I had barely worked on my book, and I was always exhausted. I was spending over half the day on my phone alone and my health/relationships were suffering. I had a similar crisis last year when my POTS caused me to fall unconscious in public.
I know most people spend January making plans and resolutions, and I’m no stranger to this as well. But for the last few years, it’s been a time for me to process the last year and reflect on what worked and what didn’t. December as a parent is just not a time for me to do that, I need to wait until after the holiday bustle. I’m Pagan, and we often use the holiday Imbolc (2/1) to set our intentions, and that feels a lot better as we look forward to the end of winter and the beginning of spring. What I’ve been doing obviously wasn’t working. For me, that was the misplaced belief that once I hit a certain milestone in my revenue or my business, then I could find time to write my novel, work on art projects, start baking again, go hiking, etc.
Once I become honest with what wasn’t working for me in the last year, it also allows me to dream and visualize that ideal. That’s when I realized that so many of the things I was waiting for I could be doing right now.
The Protestant work ethic enforces this mindset— you must EARN your right to relax. And if you don’t check off enough boxes, your exhaustion is also inducing guilt. Why are you binging that show when you have dishes and laundry to do? We then seek out the easy escape. It’s a vicious cycle and acknowledging that I was in it was a crucial step in breaking free.
Let’s also validate this— there are a lot of very worthy things to want to escape from. We’re just coming out of winter where some ways we can be more present weren’t easily available to us. And there’s nothing wrong with a Do Nothing day.
You didn’t fail if you didn’t write/create/market yourself that day.
It’s become cliche at this point but no less true: you have to refill the well.
Making resistance a non-negotiable
We all need to be doing what we can to stem the tide of rising fascism. This is not a drill. This is all very real (and has been for many years for marginalized groups).
But resisting looks different for everyone. It’s not always going to be people being out in the streets. The metaphor that has stuck with me (h/t Kelly Diels) is how we’re all trying to bring down a Wall on par with Game of Thrones (or unravel a massive tapestry). Everyone is picking and pecking away at it in their own part and this is how it eventually will come down. Some are scaling the wall, others are making sure others are fed and entertained outside so we can continue the work. Multiple roles are needed. What is your role? What are your values and how can you lend your strengths and expertise?
Those who know me personally can attest to the fact that at my core I’m a community builder. I enjoy building and strengthening relationships. I am also a speaker and amplifier of stories.
For me, I’m pouring my attention into two places: my progressive Unitarian faith community and Catcall Magazine. The former is more action-based, and the latter is more about spreading political education. Once you’re committed, you also need to focus on how you can sustain it for the long haul. This isn’t the work for a season or an election cycle. It’s the work of a generation.
Rest and deliberately seeking joy need to become non-negotiables in your life as well.
As a transgender person, a lot of bigots like to throw out the statistic that many of my community will end their lives (they think it’s being trans that makes us depressed instead of the proven reality that it’s the lack of acceptance and threat of violence that causes this, but I digress).
Joy, especially as a marginalized person, is a radical act.
But what helped me to truly lean in and seek this out intentionally was reframing rest and joy for myself.
Doing something just for yourself feels very selfish. It isn’t, but cultural conditioning runs deep.
Reframing rest as recovering your spell slots
I think of it now as an essential aspect of not only the creative process, but to organizing and community building.
It’s fortification. It’s strengthening my resolve and refreshing my energy. I’m a big nerd and enjoy tabletop RPGs and RPG video games. Before a boss fight, you’d often buff yourself with potions or spells to increase your stamina or improve your ability to fight. Same thing with after the battle. Wizards and sorcerers in D&D have a certain number of spell slots. Once they’re gone, the only way in the game to recover them is to sleep for a full 8 hours.
You cannot continue without rest. This is true in fantasy and reality.
That doesn’t have to mean luxurious baths and long routines. I still don’t have a morning or evening routine even though every productivity guru will tell you that’s the key to getting anything done.
What’s the minimum viable self-care? What’s the ideal?
Is it reading for 10 minutes? Moving your body at least 5 times a week? Spending time in nature once a week? Calling a friend or planning a monthly hangout with family/friends? Logging off of the computer at a certain time?
For me, it’s a bit of a combination of these things. If I do nothing else, I put on some music and dance and read before or after the work day to unwind.
Once I started making at least SOMETHING from my list every day, I noticed instantly that I was much more creative but even more importantly, I could separate my personal life and my business better. I know that this was a long one, so if you’ve stuck through it this long, I’m sincerely grateful. I hope that these help keep you going as much as they inspire and light a fire under me as well. We could all use more community right now— feel free to join me and others in the Storyspark Lounge. As one of the first, you can shape the direction and events that we’ll be holding in the coming weeks or months.
Ways for Us to Work Together:
Impossible to Ignore (1-Day Strategy Intensive)
Market Your Magic Consistently (8-Week Marketing Mentorship)
Speaking and Training for Your Marketing Team Get on a call and we can discuss what makes the most sense for your business growth goals.
Marketing that makes people feel seen, not sold to
I write weekly about having a sustainable creative practice, promoting your work ethically, and how to use narrative psychology to build your audience with Netflix bingeworthy content.
